I find it pleasing to be kind. To be nice, patient, tolerant, calm in every situation. Yes. I can be mean selfish bitch if it's needed, I'm wild free spirited stubborn wanderer who can say YES to the opportunity and NO to the system. I can be pretty straight talking and I never regret what I said, because it was me in that very situation and there's no way to change the past. Well, there actually is, because of our brains have a tendency to correct our memories everytime we go through them, but anyway, it's not my main point today.
Being kind is something that has strong deep roots in your personality. It is an ability to love people in the way they are, to respect their decisions despite your own different opinion, to support them gently and treat them tenderly. Because not only our bodies need a warm touch. To be truthful as possible, even though we all always lie to ourselves in some way and it is one the advantages of our kind as I read a few days ago on TED, thanks to Raquel who suggested me to do so and to Troi who posted a link. To be true with yourself and spread that energy outside from your infinite inner well without the fear.
There is nothing scarring on being good to others, hence this is the way how to be good to yourself as well. But. You have to completely trust and believe that this way is the right one for you. In my life I saw so much of hatred, unhappiness, misunderstandings, misleading lies. Still, I believe that the world will give me the same side of the coin that I'm offering to my surrounding social net. I can loose this battle on everyday basis while the people are fiercely fighting for their ground, but I always win with my conscience and inner critic when I'm falling asleep.
You can be so easily used, even abused, it might be a human nature to try to take advantage after you show that you can act softly. You can be pushed to the corner, sucked by energy vampires, hammered by the confronting the uncomforting reality of the unkind manhood. It can drive you crazy and make you cross the boundaries, escape, get lost. It can stab you in your heart when you realise, that flowers of your relationships are watered by you, but the soil is dried by feelings of garancy from the other side. There are many risks in being kind, but it is worth it.
To survive your own kindness,
you have to be tough enough.